I was one of those little girls, that when asked, would say when I grew up I wanted to be a mom.  I was even given a Mother’s Day card in Young Women’s from everyone when I was 16, because I was the group mom.  Then I grew up…  I met a lovely Englishman named Chris.  We got married and moved to England.  We both wanted a family and started trying right after we got married.  Time slipped by and we decided that we needed to get some medical advice.  After being shoved from pillar to post by the NHS, I finally had some surgery which gave us the news – Endometriosis – some of the worst the consultant had seen.  Through countless other appointments, botched surgery, and tests, we were finally told we had little or no chance of naturally conceiving.  This was heartbreaking.  IVF wasn’t an option because of the postcode lottery rules here in England.  We thought we finally had our chance to nurture and raise children in our home when we had the opportunity to look after some children who were placed in our care.  For various reasons the situation didn’t work out and we were once again – just us.  This devastated me more than anything that’s happened and took a long time to come to terms with. It’s been almost 8 years of pain, hope, sadness, anger, and pretty much every other emotion.  We didn’t come to the decision to stop trying lightly – it isn’t an easy decision to make.  Once we did make the decision we have been blessed beyond measure with contentment in our situation.  The Lord helps us to realize the positives of being childless – travel, flexible schedules, time with each other, and many, many more.  There are times when my arms ache to hold my own child but I have a sure knowledge that I can be a Mother without having children.  I have had the opportunity to be a nanny for the past 12 years (give or take a few) and have grown to love those children with a Mothers heart.  At home I lavish my attention on my pet bunny, Sugar.  I wanted to create this website to help others who are members of the church who find it difficult to fit in, in a family centred church, and to let my sisters know that there is hope, happiness, and fulfilment in being a childless Latter-Day Saint.