Finding My Place

I’ve been thinking about this post for a long time and it’s been more difficult than it usually is for me. Normally, the inspiration honestly just comes. I like to think it’s because someone out there needs to hear what I’m saying. Perhaps the reason this one has been a struggle is because I’m the…

The Taboo of Being in the 20%

There’s a giant pink elephant in the middle of the world for some of you right now. It’s called October. As many of you know, October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. And it’s hard. And we don’t talk about it. No one EVER talks about it. But I’m going to- because it’s important…

Midnight Confessions

It’s been one week. 7 days. 168 painstaking, anxiety filled, heartrending hours. One week ago, I was released as primary president and called to serve with the young women. For those of you that have been with us for a while, you know what that calling meant to me. You know what those children meant…

Stained Glass

It’s late at night…and while I should be sleeping, I’ve been thinking. Thinking and watching Vintage Flip on HGTV because my brain doesn’t want to sleep…clearly. As I often do, I learn something while I’m watching these shows and think that it’s totally something that I should do So, this couple is restoring a vintage…

A Childless Mother’s Day Wishlist…

We’ve all seen the commercials for the upcoming holiday. The “show mom how much you care with” or “mom gave up everything for you, this year give her ” or “because of mom… ” Now, don’t get me wrong, I would never, ever discount everything that mothers do, but this post isn’t about them. It’s…

Love Yourself

Continuing in the theme of Love this month – my post is on loving yourself. Struggling through infertility or childlessness (or any number of trials) can affect your relationship with yourself. Unfortunately, it isn’t uncommon to dislike, resent, blame, be dissapointed in, be angry at, or even hate yourself during difficult trials. When I was…

Love Your Childless Life (you are allowed!)

You are allowed . . . – to have a fullness of joy. Now. Right now, in your childless present, without a footnote about waiting for blessings to be fulfilled in the eternities. – to glory in uninterrupted sleep, dry-clean only clothes, poisonous ornamental plants, nice furniture, and electronics on low shelves. – to cuddle babies…

I Am a Child of God

I think sometimes we forget who we are. Because of different circumstances, such as being childless, we believe that we are less than we actually are. Do you remember making paper snowflakes when you were a child? We would take a piece of paper and fold it several times and then cut out little bits…

My Silent Night

Let’s be honest. Christmas is hard. It’s supposed to be a joyful time- but when you’re in my shoes, sometimes, it’s just hard. As hard as I try to feel absolute joy about Christmas, every once in a while, the sadness creeps in. It’s inevitable. It’s usually when I get beautiful Christmas cards from my…

He’ll Carry You…

As most of you know, I’m the Primary President in my ward. Most days, I love my calling. In fact, 99.9% of the time, I love my calling. But, I’ll be the first to tell you that the Primary Program STRESSES ME OUT. And even though this is the fifth one I’ve done…it still freaks…