Continuing in the theme of Love this month – my post is on loving yourself. Struggling through infertility or childlessness (or any number of trials) can affect your relationship with yourself. Unfortunately, it isn’t uncommon to dislike, resent, blame, be dissapointed in, be angry at, or even hate yourself during difficult trials.
When I was first putting together this post I googled “infertility love yourself” and there were more results than I thought there would be. One site I especially liked is this: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/love-yourself-accept-yourself-forgive-yourself/
Heavenly Father wants us to be happy! 2 Nephi 2:25 reads “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.”
In a BYU speech given on Valentine’s Day 2006, Cheryl C. Lant referenced this secripture:
36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.
We are supposed to love our neighbor as we love ourselves – implying that we should love ourselves! She went on to say that we can love ourselves by “…opening our hearts and accepting God’s love, because then and only then can we know who we are and that we are of great worth. Only then will we be able to love ourselves.” This entails “…knowing who we are, where we came from, what we are to do, and where we are going. We are talking about appreciating who we are and the blessings and opportunities we have been given. We are talking about a love that gives us confidence to serve God and our fellowmen.” She outlines four steps for loving ourselves: 1) respect our bodies, 2) keep ourselves pure and clean, 3) appreciate who we are, 4) and forgive ourselves. I would venture that the challenges for childless women are numbers 3 and 4. I know number 3, appreciating who I am, has been the greatest challenge for me thus far. The rest of her fabulous talk can be found here: https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/cheryl-c-lant_gods-love/.
As hard as it can be to actually do it – it is within our power to change our outlook on ourselves and our lives. It isn’t a quick process by any means but it is well worth the effort.
Cecil Samuelson also referenced this scripture in his September 8, 2009 BYU talk (https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/cecil-o-samuelson_future/) when he said “Allow me to transpose a little the words of Jesus: “Love yourself as you love your neighbor.” We need to remember and appreciate who we really are. As children of God, we should love and respect ourselves.
In an April 10, 2001 BYU speech (https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/lavell-edwards_take-upon-whole-armor-god/) LaVell Edwards relayed a passage written by Kent Nerburn that says “Remember to be gentle with yourself and others. We are all children of chance, and none can say why some fields will blossom while others lay brown beneath the August sun.” We have all traveled different roads through life and life doesn’t always make sense or seem fair. When we discard our expectations for how life will be and cease to compare ourselves to others and remember that we are all children of God – we can be happy with who we are.