Love Your Childless Life (you are allowed!)
You are allowed . . .
– to have a fullness of joy. Now. Right now, in your childless present, without a footnote about waiting for blessings to be fulfilled in the eternities.
– to glory in uninterrupted sleep, dry-clean only clothes, poisonous ornamental plants, nice furniture, and electronics on low shelves.
– to cuddle babies and give them back to their parents for diaper changes.
– to not cuddle babies.
– to invest in an education.
– to spend time and money to travel, cultivate a talent, volunteer, mentor, and add to your shoe collection.
– to be ambitious in your career and take pride in the work that you do.
– to maintain your dignity and privacy. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you are childless, or a rationalization for the way you live your life.
– to cultivate a relationship with your husband that is not dependent on the bond or the buffer of children.
– to think it’s pretty great to never have to worry about birth control.
– to drive a two-door sports car like it is meant to be driven.
– to love your fur-babies dearly (maybe ditch the poisonous plants though…)
– to have never seen Frozen or Cars.
– to eat popcorn or cupcakes (or both) for dinner, just because you can.
– to let go of any guilt that your husband is not a father, that your parents are not grandparents, that you skip church on Mother’s Day, that you love going to work, that you can sleep in on Saturdays, that any night can be date night in your house, or any number of other things that you have cried into your pillow over or felt the need to apologize for.
– to be grateful for the opportunities and blessings that you have in your life because you are childless.
– to share your joy at the opportunities and gratitude for the blessings of your childless life (go ahead, rock some people’s worlds with the knowledge that it is possible to live fully and happily outside of the box!)
– to be secure in the understanding that you have worth as a person and as a woman because you are the child of a Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother who know your name and love you, not because of the function of your reproductive organs (and refuse to let anyone tell you or treat you otherwise.)
– to live with the Spirit as your guide and companion and trust that relationship absolutely, especially when others may have different (and loud) opinions about what you should think and do and feel.
– to make changes.
– to (kindly) decline invitations to or remove yourself from situations that you know will trigger grief or depression.
– to claim your place in a Church and culture that places motherhood on a pedestal above all else.
– to live your life as an example that happy endings aren’t necessarily what you always thought or were always told they would be.
– to LOVE YOUR LIFE!!!